Barack Obama: “I Want to Meet Ima Puma”

Ima Puma responds to a request to meet with the President of the United States of America.


Dear Ima,
Two years ago, just before I accepted our party’s nomination in front of 80,000 people in Denver, I spoke with 10 grassroots supporters who had won a trip to meet me backstage.

“Backstage?”  Yes, it was stage production, wasn’t it?

I still remember the time we spent together — because these are the people, like you, who … got me through the tough fights since.

By making excuse after excuse for your pathetic performance.

But we face another test on November 2nd … and I need you by my side again. A Supreme Court decision I strongly disagree with has shifted the balance of power in our elections from folks like you to giant corporations. Their massive spending on attack ads could have a real impact on who represents you at all levels of government.

This from a guy who broke his promise to stick to campaign spending limits, and went on to spend $700 million.

So next week, just 11 days before the elections, I want to meet three supporters like you backstage at a rally in Las Vegas — one of the last big rallies of this campaign.

Because Las Vegas epitomizes everything about your character and your administration.

This movement has always been about more than me.

I understand. It’s also about getting your golf handicap to at least -5.

It’s about change, and the kind of future we envision for this country.

I envision a future where you are not president.

The folks I met backstage in Denver told me they wanted health reform, a clean-energy economy, and a resolution to the war in Iraq.

Suckers!

They wanted a new kind of politics, and a new kind of leader.

Instead, they got a Chicago thug.

It was their hope and expectation that together we would move beyond the status quo, that we would counter the special interests and corporate influence in Washington —

God, I hate koolaid hangovers.

— that we would do what was right and necessary for all Americans.

” And by ‘all Americans,’ I mean the insurance lobby.”

With your help, we have made historic progress,

The Titanic was ‘historic’, too.

but there is much left to do —

Step One: Nominate Hillary.

and it will not happen without your involvement. Your donation today will provide critical support to our Vote 2010 campaign.

What? Is Soros skint?

It will determine if we pass this test, and win our toughest fight yet.

The fight to get elected after having dragged your sorry ass around for two years.

Please donate $3 or more to be automatically entered to win a trip to Las Vegas to meet me backstage:

Just thinking about that makes me faint!  Will I get to play the tambourine during your encore?

I hope to see you out there,

No, you really, really don’t.

— President Barack Obama

If it limps like a duck…

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5 Responses to Barack Obama: “I Want to Meet Ima Puma”

  1. Fionnchú says:

    $3, or how much more? Hard to believe he spent the $700 million already (Tariq Ali claims it was $ 900 & Hillary was co-opted for SoS in return for debt assistance, but he doesn’t elaborate in “The Obama Syndrome” on this). But, as with every policy, he has his own masters to pay.

    Thanks for this, TL. My wife during his campaign wanted to access his website to research him, but you could not do so freely. You had to sign up and give your e-mail. Of course, she succumbed. A month after inauguration, she got “personal” notes in that fake handwritten envelope font from Him begging for cash.

  2. tamerlane says:

    Big tent revival preachers are always grubbin’ for money.

  3. FembotsForObama says:

    LMFAO.
    Please tell me you sent that back to his campaign, er … Obama’s new DNC?

  4. sophie says:

    Just read that Karzai is taking bags of cash from Iran, every despot needs pocket change, I guess.
    Also read that Hill is leaving for Viet Nam and other points east, but Not Afghanistan. C’mon Hill, man up !

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